I started something that I believed was a relationship, with a married man. I didn't know that part...On January 1st, only few hours after midnight he started crying on my shoulder about his miserable life and how he wants to divorse his wife. (I fucked that man, god damn it!!!) Same evening somehow i happened to be with him alone at his appartment. Strangest thing was all that Depeche mode things they said...and damn, he looked like peasant of a kind "I've got all the money in the world!!" We made very bad sex on his wedding bed (but he licks quite good, I think) and of course, I was very scared that his wife would appear in the most subleme moment. Suddenly he stoped licking my pussy and said "I'm going for a cigarette in the living room!"
And that was the moment when I should have said "I'm going home now." But I didn't.
Then he showed me the pictures of his 10 years old daughter. Did he scared me? Not at all.
For few days we started talking on Skype every night.. never made video sex, but maybe we should try...He came one night to stay at my place..And he started crying again...We couldn't even star the overture to sex. He was so helpless that I couldn't stand his pain and kissed him.
My heart shouted out that I should help him! I was already in love…
Grabbed him as he was my last chance not to die alone!
He wasn’t even my style!!! How deep must I fall?
He forgot his charger at my place, and few hours later his cell was off. And he disappeared. For a damn long time! Never called, never went online. When I was at work one day he came to take his charger back and left five tremendous dark red roses on my bed. Without calling me. Came back here a week later to see me and his best friend, who happened to be my roommate’s husband. Broke my fingers (by incident?), got deadly drunk, and made me cry and blame myself for his attitude. Cried most of the time. I slept on the couch. Finally he told me: “When everything’s over, I’m taking you to live with me!”
And disappeared again. Then my roommate told me he spoke with her and told her this is not the moment when he needs a new relationship. That I am too much powerful woman for him and he doesn’t want my chains. So I better stop calling him every hour (?!). OK, I said. Next day silence. All silence. Until midnight, when I came home from work. He rang me about 12 times on Skype. And I called him back. We spoke for 4 hours. He was so desperate! About to lose all his money and half of his furniture. But the trial has already begun. I was tender and supportive. I watched him and all I wanted was his happiness. I prayed for him, and then I thought: “What the fuck am I part of??”
A kind of excuse. Mine, for trying to lie myself that I don’t like him, and his, for giving me NOT care and attention. 10 calls for those 12 hours. Just to say Hi. And to make a singer at his restaurant sing specially for me “My heart will go on”. And to say “Good night! I kiss you thousand times!”. And to promise to pick me up from work Sunday evening, cause this is his only free day and he will spend it with me.
He never showed up…yet.
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